So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize