I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
