and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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