You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
