Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
