Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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