It was confusing and full of hummus
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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