It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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