So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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