the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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