____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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