ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
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And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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