so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize