I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
