so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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