i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize