that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
