yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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