So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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