Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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