At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
