Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
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Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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