i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
