Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm going to jail i love you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize