In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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