i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
