I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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