I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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