It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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