just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
