what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
