you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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