I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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