His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
