don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
