Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
