roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
