It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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