K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
