It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
