Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
