More tranny stories later!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
