Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
