Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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