Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
