Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
