Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
