ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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