I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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