My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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