theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
