bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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