Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
