its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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