He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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