Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize