the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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