If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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