never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
